Friday, March 12, 2010

In Flesh and Blood

“Change” is the most permanent thing in life. Be it any good or bad change, we all advance towards change with a certain amount of anticipation and panic as to the potential consequences that might result from it. India today is in the grip of some of the most radical changes that simply leaves me astounded and makes me feel awestruck as to how far we have come. And I am not even talking about days long before I was born. As recently as a decade back there was a sense of decaying politics and age old idealisms that were doing the rounds. We were happy arguing with each other in the quintessential “cha er dokaan”, or “rocker adda”, vociferously critizing the shenanigans of the various “left”, “right” and “central’ politics, “mamataisms” and the recent India defeat /victory in cricket. But today the right to information has changed the whole fabric of the nation. Today every celebrity, every politician and every other “who’s who” has to be accountable for any action that they take and they have the right to be questioned by the public freely in national television. Today college students can vociferously and openly charge the Shiv Sainiks on the recent happenings of the Shiv Sena, and can also demand a justification regarding the opposition of the women’s bill. Be it villagers, students, intellectuals, writers or simply cynics, there is a platform for everyone and I think this has revolutionized mass media as a whole. Today we believe more in action than in words and are less tolerant of age old politics and the reassurance of “talks”. Perhaps this change is a good change. To view such wielders of power in flesh and blood somehow makes us more connected as country people, to demand a straight answer rather than diplomatic political verbiage, and to fight for a cause in a united manner rather than having dozens of opinionated “intellectuals” interpreting every action for us “simpletons”. In recent years modern technology has received a lot of flak as well as praise for the use of various forms of social networking. In India parents are concerned about their children spending too much time on twitter and facebook and other modes of communication rather than open exchange of thoughts. My question is, when have we been given the platform for such open exchange of thoughts? Even a decade back whatever news we got about the various happenings in a country came in the form of newspapers and news reports, where the general public was not given any scope of voicing their thoughts out in the open. Today with programs like “we the people”, where the news agent sits with the general public and questions the politician or the superstar, that feeling of disconnection or distance is no longer prevalent. Facebook and twitter has brought celebrities and the public in the same platform and the remoteness of the star has given way to real people, who face real problems like you and me. Today we have reality shows were married women are given a chance to compete against each other in dance performances. And we are not just talking about Indian forms of dance. I myself have watched these episodes and seen the “boudis” from Calcutta as well as the suburbs perform hip hop, bollywood style, salsa and other western dance forms.
There would always be one section of the society who would always criticize change. But just pause for a moment and think that even a few years back we were receiving news about dowry problems and wife beating and child marriages in India. Today a married woman from Calcutta and a married woman from Bankura are sharing the same dreams, sharing the same stage and doing it with élan in front of their husbands, their in laws (who are very proud of them) and on national television. No wonder the age old Marxist politics in Calcutta are losing in popularity and giving way to a new wave of change which propels people to come out of their secured life and voice their opinions freely. No wonder the septuagenarians in the Parliament are insecured of women like Chavvi Rajawat who left corporate job to become the "sarpanch" of Soda, a village in Rajasthan, to spread awareness amongst the villagers so that they are more aware about the goings on in the country. It is unfortunate that the people whom we have placed in power are still caught in a time warp and find it difficult in accepting change, but to us, the future of the country looks promising and hopefully we have more inspiring examples from our generation to teach the wielders of power a thing or two about accepting change with dignity.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The blessed strangers

It is extraordinary how at some point in your life, you encounter complete strangers who leave a mark on your life by the spur- of- the- moment helpfulness that they show despite you being a complete stranger. Today I dedicate this blog to all those people who have been such Knights/Princesses in shining armor/corsets, each of whom I remember clearly, their acts of kindness firmly etched in my heart.
I will start with an incident from my childhood when I was lost in a crowd of people in a market, desperately trying to find my way to my mother who, equally harried, was looking for me in all the nooks and corners of the market. I was I think 4-5 yrs old, with a bald head (I hated having long hair or any hair at all that time!!) running around wildly. And all of a sudden this very gentle giant of a man (to me he looked like a giant) swooped me up in his shoulders. I was scared and for one moment I thought he was planning to kidnap me but then he calmed me down and told me that my mother was looking for me and he knew where she was. I was amazed that he knew my predicament and asked him how did he know that I was lost? He smiled and said that he was sitting and chatting with his friends when he noticed a young girl wandering on her own. Within a few minutes he saw a lady looking hassled and worried running here and there and asking everybody and gesturing to them that she cannot find her young girl. My gentleman immediately came forward told her not to worry and assured her that he will bring me back to her.
It is strange that in all these years that face has blurred but I still remember clearly every soothing word he told me to calm me down.
A few years later on when we were visiting Europe, I got lost in a tram in Vienna. I hopped on to it before the rest of my family could board the tram and then the automatic doors shut closed and took off. I was scared out of my wits but outwardly I acted very calm. The whole tram was empty except for this Bangladeshi guy who was looking at me realizing full well that I was in trouble. He could see my father running after the tram, my sister and mother crying since they thought they have lost me forever. He came up to me and asked “tumi ghabraio na, ami tumaare porer stop e namaiyaa dimu” (don’t worry I will help you get off the next stop). Wow it was muic to my ears, hearing this man speak not only kind words but speak my dialect as well!! And as the next stop came he stepped out from the tram and waited until my father reached me and waited for the next tram to get on.
We were in Italy for 2 months. Every morning after father went away to teach, me and my sister along with my mother used to visit the children’s park right opposite to where we were staying (Ripamonti residence). The first day we went me and my sister huddled together shy and a little intimidated by the tall and fairly large children playing there. We hardly knew how to speak Italian and could only understand snatches of it. It is here that a truly quintessential knight in shining armor came up to me and my sister. And that was when I received my first kiss!! This boy took my hands in his kissed them and said “venire bambini” (come child). Me and my sister couldn’t stop giggling afterwards and we felt so embarrassed. And after that day everyday we played with him and his sister but strangely we never needed to know each others names. For him I was always his “bambini”
When I came to Chicago I did not know anybody, had no cell phone or any form of contact. I had to go through a lot of problems the first two days since upon reaching I was notified that there was some mix up with my housing accommodation on campus and I had no place to stay!! It was a terrible moment for me and I did not understand what to do or whom to contact. And then suddenly this girl who was in the receptionist came up to me and asked me what the problem was. I told her and she made a few calls and put me up in the dorm for 2 nights. I was so hassled and worried that I could not thank her properly and next day couldn’t find her.
After a week went by I was put up in a truly beautiful dorm in another institute nearby. However my problems did not end. One after the other I had to face problems the solutions to which I had none. All this took a big toll on me and I just couldn’t think straight. One day I was sitting in the study room with some of my other roommates and this really sweet looking girl came up to me patted my shoulder and asked me whether I was ok or not. I couldn’t keep it inside any longer and I burst into tears!! She was a little taken aback and tried consoling me and some of the other girls came up and asked what the matter was. I told them everything that had happened. They were shocked and sympathetic and tried to calm me as much as possible. After that day they regularly invited me up to their rooms to chat, we cooked together, played foosball together and never made me feel lonely. During Hanukkah the girl who had consoled me kept a bag of chocolates in front of my door with a note “from your guardian angel” and I like to think of her like one.
Once I went to Milwaukee with a very close friend of mine. While returning to the station we got lost and were desperately trying to figure out where we were when this old lady who was stuck in a traffic jam called out to us and asked whether she could help us or not. We said that we were trying to figure out where the station was. Without thinking of her troubles, she offered to drive us to the station and bade us farewell once we reached safely.
I look back on these events and I feel so blessed. Blessed because it is for all these knights and angels, that I never feel lonely or uncared for and makes me realize that amidst all the tensions and worries of day to day life, our destiny gives us the opportunity to meet strangers who sometimes make us feel more special than our closest of friends. I hope and pray that I meet more such people in future and that I in turn can do something for them that would always help them remember me with a smile on their faces.